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All That is Me

This is the Story I tell.....

Jessica

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August 26th, 2007

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It's NEW JOURNAL TIME :D 

just so you know, or if you didn't see the other post. 

jessieduck

August 25th, 2007

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yay!! I made a new journal...and I think you're all really swell, and hope that you'd add me again. I've yet to customize it or anything, but my name is: jessieduck . I'll rarely post in this one again, if ever :D

September 27th, 2005

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Friends only. :)

There you have it. Sorry for the lack of interesting/awesome friend's banner. You can comment to be added.

April 9th, 2005

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My parents have been telling me that people in a green convertible have been driving by my house over the past few days asking for me. Honestly, I was hoping it to be someone that would whisk me away to an enchanted place where people eat from golden forks. Any where but here would have been nice. They sped by again today, and yelled incoherent things at my little brother and cousins...and then park themselves at the end of  the street and just watch us. SO, my older sister struts her short and petite self down the street along with my cousin Steve and proceeds to inform them that she'll call the cops if they drive by again. The person in the car says "Yo,YO I know ur sister man...I was ur neighbor a long time ago. Tell her to come down here." She comes walks back to my house slightly bewildered and tells me this...NOW, I'm basicly itching to know who the hell this is. I walk down to the car in the middle of the dead end and find 3 people sitting in it, all males. The driver is smoking a ciggarette and talking on a cell phone with his arm rested on the edge of the car. I just stand there. He then speaks "Yo, do you 'member mmee??" I say "ahh, no...but, you could tell me who you are." He tells me that his name is Bobby.....

Yes, I know Bobby. He was my neighbor and possibly my favorite person from the time we were 7 until 10 or 11 when he moved away. He was also one of those people that no one wanted to be friends with, partly because he was some what slow and partly because he was just strange. My parents didn't want me to be his friend either. Retrospectivly speaking, I think it was in fear of the reputation he'd give me. I didn't care. Really, I didn't....One day, I rode my bike home screaming and crying because the punks down the street were pushing him around and saying words that you dont ever want to hear about you're friend when your 8. They were words that I dont ever want to hear about my friends when I'm any age. I then rode my bike back down the street and expressed my most intense anger at them for being so awful and picked him up off the street.But, things weren't always copesetic between us...we had a physical brawl one time. He got really mad after when I walked away and threw a steel bat at me...I retaliated by heaving a field hocky ball at his chest. :D We also fell out of a tree together, and agreed not to tell any one in fear that we woudn't be allowed to climb trees any more.  Now that I look back upon those years- it was probably one of the truest friendships that I've ever had. He was always there, and never let a dull moment creep into any day. Regardless of what I did, he was always my friend. He was definetly the person that is everything for you no matter what. I was so sad when he moved...I think it was the only time he had ever hurt me. I remember trying to swallow my tears- we made a promise to stay friends forever although we both knew that it probably wouldn't happen.

Until today, I hadn't seen him for all those years. Truthfully, he looks the same...only a taller and a more slender version with glasses. He said that he thought of me when he found a picture of us with our arms around each other grinning like the fools we were...and then decided to visit. Hes still the same person too...I'd probably still be his friend if he hadn't moved.

Before he left, he said to me " You know, you were the only person that was ever nice enough to me to be my friend" I'll admit it, I swallowed the tears again. We said goodbye with out really deciding if we'd stay in touch....I'll also admit that when I was walking back to my house my chest was almost heaving, but I didn't swallow the tears. God, I dont know what it is about that kid that gets to me...but, I'll always be his friend.

April 6th, 2005

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Circumstance has a sly way of chosing the wrong person to fall upon sometimes.- My mom had her 2nd of 3 operations today.

It just disgusts me that she has to endure THREE surgeries all because she was misdiagnosed. Even worse, they aren't the ones that get a front row seat to the show of recovery. Its awful.

April 4th, 2005

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contemplating

all the conversations

silently spoken

to the rhythm of hearts racing...

and what the sex,

some how changes.

Misconstrued are intentions

due to the sheer desire,

and sloppy first kisses- underinfluenced...

as are the stories

of our pasts.

And then we feel like-

no body should stand taller than us.

April 3rd, 2005

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what does this NOT let me make paragraphs anymore???

THE weekend

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My weekend was inevitably glorious,awesome, and filled with laughing attacks that make you're face hurt. On my way up friday after work, I got a little lost and drove wwwwaaayyy out of the way- but hey, thats what happens when you're singing too loud and not paying attention to much except for the fact that you love the song.I ended up turning around a ridiculous amount of times and eventually finding my way.But, being lost added 45 minutes to my trip.I drank an entire Arizona Green Tea, on the way up(the ones in the HUDGE ,.99 cent cans) and there was NO way I'd make it to my destination with out stopping to pee.There were no rest stops for a long time. Maybe not that long, but I had to go so bad that I couldn't think about anything else.SO, I pulled over and left my mark on 87 south in NY. I wasn't really scared of someone seeing me...but, someone killing me.NY drivers travel a considerable amount faster than the ones in CT. Have you ever been afraid to have someone care about you as you do them? Yeah, well I am.Why cross the line of safety- when you could just remain sheltered? He apparantly cares about me alot...yes, this 'he' I speak of is who I went to visit. :) Hes great, but I'm scared. What if some day he finds that I'm not as great as he assumes I am? ANYWAYS, when I got there- we made philly cheese steaks and all of us sat around and ate too much and discussed stuff. What ever was going on...it was alot more fun than I can make it sound right now. We also watched Lewis Black. Hes a stand up comedian. Hes pretty good...you should watch him if you get the chance. OH, and for the record, Napolean Dynamite was such a waste of time. The worst thing I've seen in a long time.The whole movie made my brain hurt.Dont pay money to see it... He told me I was beautiful.Yeah, how do you take a compliment like that with out looking like the awkward person I am??Someone teach me- so I can appear half way normal if someone should tell me that again.Oh,and this weekend was the first time in as long as I can remember that I fell asleep with someone with out panicking about what I looked like while I was asleep, or if I was going to drool.Thats the worst, huh? Thinking that you're going to drool and have the person wake up and see you there with you're mouth open and stuff??I'm a weirdo...I worry about what people think of me. OH, I also bought a new cell phone this weekend because the one I had was a peice of crap. I'm in the process of putting all the numbers from my old one to my new one.Rather than use minutes...if anyone had my old number and wanted my new one-let me know somehow. As usual, I dont even know what to do with myself.So, if anyone wants to show me how to do that too...it'd be great. I thought I had more to say, but I cant remember. I'm off to half ass my thesis for composition on monday...

March 31st, 2005

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Tomorrow around 4:30, I'll be on my way to New York Citaahyy...

I cant wait.

March 29th, 2005

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It'd be absolutly glorious if I could fall asleep right now...I mean, my bed is practically screaming my name and my eyes are about to roll out of their sockets- and I'm not sleeping yet. I have to work tomorrow too, it looks like it'll be the best day ever. I'm slightly excited for spring break this whole week except for the fact that I HAVE TO WORK THE WHOLE  TIME. I'm contemplating the idea of student loans...they'll provide me the opportunity to live at school and just exist as a college student rather than a "workfulltimeanddoschoolfulltimeoverlytiredpersonthathasnolife". Yes, I'm complaining....and I know that there are lots of people that do the same thing. I just dont think I'm one of those people...the obvious down side to the loans is that I'll be paying them off until I'm 500.

Oh, I'd like to express my complete disappointment with Victoria Secret. I went today to purchase my first ever bra from the infamous lady, ( not my first bra ever. Just my first one from there.) and there was no amazing change. These puppies are still the same size and everything! They never guarenteed anything of that nature...but it was expected. I have to admit though, I think it'll turn out to be my best bra as of yet. Man, boobs are such a pain in the ass.

 

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